Entanglement
by Rose Lupus
Summary: Delphine was supposed to be objective. An observer. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. 1x08 Cophine scene expansion (now with a title).
1. Chapter 1

_Warning: this is a trial m-rated fic and it's entirely possible I will get overwhelmingly embarrassed and rip this down and pretend I never wrote such a thing._

* * *

"I can't stop thinking about that kiss," she said, and there was some truth to that.

She had never been kissed by a woman before, and certainly never by a clone. This wasn't supposed to happen, no one had warned her. She hadn't expected the kiss, hadn't expected _Cosima Niehaus _at all_. _She had been told the name, but it was so startling to find that Cosima Niehaus was so very different from 324B21. So much _more._

So, yes, she was doing what had to be done, to protect Cosima, to protect the others, as Leekie had bade her… but also, she was conducting her own experiment. She thought, for a second, with Cosima's lips moving against hers that she had felt something; something a little more pleasant than pure shock. She had pulled away too soon the first time, to put a name to it.

This time, she did not pull away. It started with brush of her fingers across Cosima's cheek, across her lips, and then her lips brushed across them too. Then they were more than brushing and, oh. There it was. It wasn't shock. It was electrifying. Delphine was calm and precise and confident… and then she was not. Instead of driving, she now was driven, by the increasing need to be close to this woman.

She heard herself gasp into their kiss when her hand first encountered the newly uncovered skin of Cosima's back, sensed that she was losing control of herself as she rapidly, desperately explored the smooth, warm pane now exposed to her, but she didn't care. She threw herself into the exploration, the heat of the desire she was feeling; welcomed the fire that burned away all the reasons she wasn't supposed to be feeling this.

They bumped into a desk and Delphine lost no time in lifting the smaller woman up off her toe tips and onto the desk, giving herself better access to the soft and remarkably sensitive skin of Cosima's neck. Now the gasps she was hearing weren't her own. Her hands roved over every part of Cosima she could reach. She kissed the spot behind her ear that had made the brunette jump before and was rewarded with a low moan as Cosima tipped her head to the side to encourage her to continue.

Delphine loved how compliant Cosima was under her hands now, and the _sounds_ she was making. The sounds Delphine was causing her make. She had given herself up to Delphine, was letting her try whatever she wanted to, and Delphine was finding that she wanted to try _everything -_ all at once, if she could. Her hands flew over Cosima, drinking her in greedily with her fingertips, painting her with kisses, pushing frustrating barriers of cloth out of her way and throwing them across the room.

"Woah!" Cosima bucked against her violently when Delphine's hand suddenly slipped below her belt line, fingers momentarily brushing against her before Cosima captured her wrist and pulled her back.

Delphine jumped back as if she had been slapped, a pink flush spreading across her cheeks and down her neck to her chest, her previous confidence evaporating as quickly as her eyes dropped to the floor. Cosima could read the rejection she was feeling and she rushed to banish it.

"Hey, hey, hey," Cosima murmured reassuringly, and tightened her grip on Delphine's wrist to guide her back into the cradle of Cosima's thighs before she could try to run away from her.

"I am sorry, I-"

"Shhh… don't be sorry," Cosima whispered, and pressed a sweet kiss to Delphine's cheek that made her eyes flutter closed. "You didn't do anything wrong." Her lips traced Delphine's with a gentleness that almost brought Delphine to tears. "Just not so fast, okay?"

Cosima slipped down from the desk and took Delphine's hand, and smiled encouragingly at her as she guided her to the bedroom.

* * *

_yay or nay?_


	2. Chapter 2

With Cosima taking the lead they moved much more slowly. Delphine was not entirely comfortable with that because it meant she couldn't stop herself from thinking. When she couldn't bury herself completely in what she was doing, all she could do was feel it.

When Cosima first led her into the room she was overcome with nerves. She was afraid that Cosima would be able to read her - to see that she was a liar, a spy. And newly, with all this time she had now to contemplate what she was doing, she was afraid that she would be bad at this. She had never been with a woman before. With a cool head she was able to worry that she would not know what to do. She had some idea, of course, what two women did together in bed, but it was never something she'd had much reason to think about.

Delphine had half an urge to flee, but Cosima's warm hand loosely enclosing hers was more than enough to hold her. A cheerful flash of pearly teeth pulled her forward, even as her stomach somersaulted under her ribs. Cosima was already without a shirt; Delphine having stripped off a couple of layers before they made it out of the living room. Soft fingertips on her cheek guided Delphine down into another kiss, and then carefully relieved her of her top. It fell to the ground as Cosima traced feather-lightly down Delphine's bared sides, chuckling when she felt Delphine shiver in response.

She guided Delphine back until the backs of her legs hit bedside. A little breath of air escaped Delphine's lips as she half fell to her seat on the bed. Cosima smiled at the heat that re-ignited in her eyes when she smoothly followed Delphine down, slipping onto the newly created lap. Delphine held her breath as Cosima's lips teasingly fluttered over hers, barely touching, then softly claiming. Cosmia smiled into the kiss at her now perfect restraint. She was mirroring Cosima, only giving as much as she got, trembling from the effort of controlling herself. Cosima chuckled a little as she broke away just far enough to speak.

"You don't have to be so careful," Cosima whispered to her affectionately. "Just… do what you feel like. But like, slower."

Delphine's eyes locked on hers, and she consciously released a long breath punctuated with a nod. She let her hands take the place on Cosima's back they had been longing for. Her fingers spread eagerly over the bare skin, pulled Cosima forward until the smooth pane of her belly pressed against hers. Delphine moved one hand up the smooth expanse of her back to her neck, brushing gently over wisps of hair before pulling Cosima into a kiss. She delighted in the eagerness she felt reflected back in the pulse of Cosima's muscles as she deepened the kiss and leaned further and further into Delphine until they fell back onto the bed. Time slipped away from them in a haze of skin moving on skin and tangled limbs creating heat between them.

"Is this okay?" Cosima whispered against Delphine's neck, drawing her attention away from her explorations briefly. Her voice was languid and calming as her fingers paused on the edge of freeing the catch of Delphine's bra.

Delphine nodded fervently in response. Of course it was. Anything to get closer, anything at all was okay, perfect, necessaire. The last of the barriers between them were quickly shed and released over the side of the bed without further thought. Delphine lost herself in the rhythm of breaths, of touches, of stroking, of exploring, claiming, giving. For a while she felt and thought of nothing but warmth and trust and intimacy until her urgency was eased and her energy spent.

She slipped tired arms around the woman who had flowed against her so willingly, tucked her head under her chin and closed her eyes as she caught her breath and slowly found her way back herself. Gradually the warmth leeched away, fading back into nudity and vulnerable exposure. Self consciously Delphine tugged the sheet up over her chest, triggering an amused peak in Cosima's brow.

"_Now _you're shy?" she chuckled at Delphine, stroking the side of her face affectionately.

Delphine unhanded the sheet awkwardly and her face burned bright red with embarrassment. She could feel Cosima's eyes on her for a moment, followed by her lips on Delphine's cheek before she casually leaned across Delphine and reached an arm over the side of the bed, clearly unabashed by her own nudity. Delphine felt flushed again as Cosima's torso pressed into her own as she retrieved something from the floor. She came back up with a handful of clothing they had shed earlier.

She knelt upon the bed next to Delphine and gestured for her to sit up.

"C'mere," she invited, holding out Delphine's bra.

Delphine sat up and Cosima slipped the straps over her arms and pulled her close to reach around to pull the catch at the back together and tug the sides down into position. Finished her task she dropped her head onto Delphine's shoulder and enclosed her in her arms. Delphine took a deep breath in, the scent of Cosima's skin reminding her of the overwhelming sense of closeness and safety she had felt such a short time ago.

Delphine tilted her head to brush her cheek over Cosima's and Cosima responded by tightening her arms around Delphine and snuggling her head into the crook of Delphine's neck. The intimacy of having Cosima's skin pressed against hers briefly banished her worries and replaced them with a warm feeling of relief. She mourned the loss of it when Cosima let her go.

"Are you going?" Delphine asked hesitantly when Cosima stood up again.

"Do you want me to?" A small thread of Cosima's own uncertainty weaved its way through the question.

"Non," the answer burst out of her almost before Cosima had completed her question.

Cosima smiled, and ducked down to retrieve her own underwear and put them back on.

"Then I'm not going anywhere," she told Delphine as she settled back by her side, "Look, now we match."

Delphine felt a rush of warmth flood over her, could feel the flush burning her cheeks yet again. She had sounded far too eager. Somehow though, she could not bring herself to feel very embarrassed over it. She was too relieved to have Cosima's hand wrapped around hers again and rhythmically stroking her thumb. They lay there in a comfortable silence. Delphine was still nervous, but Cosima made her feel so safe. So welcome. She wished this didn't have to stop. Being with Cosima like this felt so right. Delphine paused. Actually, it felt like….

_Oh._

_Oh no._

Delphine felt as if a bucket of freezing water had been poured over her chest. She closed her eyes, pinched her lips together, tried not to react. Tried, and failed, she realised as the tears burning under her eyelids had started slipping out, and were tracking wet paths down the sides of her face.

This wasn't supposed to happen. This was a job. This was science. She shouldn't have done this. She shouldn't have given herself over to Cosima they way she had. She had gone and opened herself up and now it was too late. She didn't know how to stop it.

She heard a sharp intake of breath beside her, felt Cosima shifting in the bed.

_Merde._

"I – " she stuttered for an excuse as she brushed quickly at the tears. "I cry after sex with boys too."

The soft, sweet look in Cosima's eyes made it hard for her to breathe. She could almost feel it on her skin, like a loving caress.

She didn't deserve Cosima's concern.

She forced a reassuring smile that felt closer to a grimace.

_Liar,_ she hissed at herself silently. A liar and a spy. That's what she was. And this... she had done a terrible thing. The worst thing. And Cosima would find out one day, Delphine knew. She would find out and she would hate her.

She scrambled to collect herself, to refocus on what she had to do.

It's for Cosima, she consoled herself. This needs to be done. But no matter how she justified it to herself, she could not shake off the cold guilt biting inside her chest. She had done something unforgivable and she loathed herself for it.

She hated herself as she persuaded Cosima to leave her alone in the apartment. Hated every move she made as she efficiently searched for information. A child of a clone who had no idea what she was born into. No idea what she was to Leekie. Delphine found herself imagining what Kira looked like. Did she have their eyes? Did she have a laugh like Cosima's? Because, genetically speaking, she may as well be Cosima's child.

She was so revolted at herself that she felt nauseous as she spoke to Leekie. She hated every word that left her mouth, remembering the gentle caress of Cosima's lips pressed against her cheek and picturing her face as if she was standing before Delphine listening to every word. She omitted Kira. This one thing she could avoid saying, and she knew that betraying this child was one thing she could never even hope to be forgiven for. It was not much, but at least it was one less thing to tear her up inside.


End file.
